Remains unable to Google a clue.
"They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.
It's a series of tubes."
Long ago, I wrote up a protocol that was exactly as Senator Stevens described. It was HCP/TP, and it was a specific counter to the conventional TCP/IP and PPP architectures of the day. These relics of technological progress, though time tested and venerable, were becoming too slow and plodding for the demands of an ever expanding internet and the evolution of active content. While electronic communications have the advantage of speed, they have the distinct disadvantage of degraded signals, programmatic failures, and inadequate hardware. HCP/TP would revolutionize the communications industry thru vast networks of pressurized tubes and hamsters. These static connections would be impervious to electrical failure and each trained, buttery hamster could be fully dedicated to his byte, and unyielding in it's delivery. Unlike soulless, electronic packets, the hamster could have an understanding - though only a very base one - of the importance of it's existence.
While HCP/TP would require a vast new infrastructure, it will still rely on several similar princples found in current OSI architecture - making the transition to the new technology easier for current engineers and administrators.
Level 1: CHTC - or Corporeal Hamster Transport Conduit - is composed of a vast network of tubes and interchanges that will be used by the hamsters to reach their destinations. These tubes are pressurized to aid the hamster's already impressive ability to navigate quickly thru small spaces and sharp turns. These tubes will have much greater durability than existing and extreamly fragile fiberoptics.
Level 2: BTL - or Buttery Transport Layer - is the lining of each tube to further aid the hamster in it's journey. The BTL helps to simultaneously reduce the hamster's friction with it's surrounding tube while ensuring a tighter seal in the pressurized environment.
Level 3: HDT - or Hamster Data Transport - is the advanced system of individual hamsters. Each hamster is guided by the very essence of it's being to ensure delivery of it's byte. Relying on their natural ability to navigate tubes, the hamster is the best logical method of data transport.
Level 4: HD/DHTP - or Hamster Data/Data Hamster Translation Protocol - is the universal data translation method for all nodes connected to the HCP/TP network. It relies upon a Box Filled With Magical Blue Smoke.
Level 5: BFWMBS - or Box Filled With Magical Blue Smoke - is what allows the whole of the HCP/TP protocol to function. If the Magical Blue Smoke escapes, your connection to the HCP/TP network will fail. If you fail to fully believe in the power of your Box Filled With Magical Blue Smoke, all of existence will crumble around you, and God may murder a kitten.
Level 6: Kittens. These are what God doesn't murder in order to keep the whole thing going.
Level 7: There is no level 7. This alone demonstrates the superiority of HCP/TP over conventional OSI as it accomplishes the same goal without a tawdry Level 7.
I think you, Dear Reader, will understand the benefits of this new and bold system. Or, at the very least, it will make more sense than a US Senator.
Ah, the tears of a child. Under normal circumstances, I don't really take any pleasure in seeing a kid cry. There's always a reason for it, it's traumatic enough for them regardless of whether or not our adult minds can remember what it was like to "be that age". But, this... Well, Citizen Santorum has decided to use his family as a prop, so it's open-season on children. 
